Self Compassion … when there’s no one there to give it

I have been noticing lately …

How many people who are committed to healing are actually exhausted.

Not because they’re doing it wrong.
But because they’ve been trying so hard for so long.

I see it in clients.
In practitioners.
And of course in myself at times.

When we’re stressed, tired, overwhelmed or hurting… something very human happens. Our energy reaches outward. We want expression, understanding, acknowledgement, comfort, support … compassion.

Sometimes it shows up as wanting to be seen or heard. Sometimes as anger, blame or the urge to defend or push back. Not because we’re broken… but because something inside us needs care.

These are normal human needs.

The difficulty is… we don’t always have someone available to meet them. And even when we do it depends on their capacity in that moment. They may be tired too. Dealing with their own struggles. They simply don’t have the resources available.

Then extra suffering gets created.

Because when the need for compassion doesn’t get met outside, the pain inside can intensify. We can feel alone, unseen, or abandoned… and sometimes that frustration turns inward.

So the question becomes…

How do we meet our own needs?
How do we become the presence we’re hoping someone else will be for us?

Continue reading “Self Compassion … when there’s no one there to give it”

On The Passing of a Legend Gary Craig

I learned today that Gary Craig the founder of EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques method (energy tapping) has passed away, peacefully.

It’s a profound moment to stop and reflect in gratitude.

For myself and for the millions around the world who have healed and learned how to create emotional freedom for themselves and others, changing their lives after learning this simple energy tapping method, we owe a huge debt of gratitude.

What a legacy to create and leave in the world, human transformation, making the world a better place by teaching how to release stuck emotional energy and restore inner flow, after which the mind body spirit can now function better.

A simple concept and a simple method.

We all stand on the shoulders of those who have come before us. Gary simplified an earlier method TFT Thought Field Therapy from Roger Callahan into EFT which became the ambassador technique for emotional freedom in its simpler user-friendly form.

I myself learned EFT in the year 2000 and feel proud of the years that I spent teaching this technique, practising it and helping many. It has brought me personally such great fulfilment in my work and life for 25 years.

Many have taken EFT applied it, evolved it in new ways, leading to many powerful energy tools that we now have today to help ourselves navigate the emotional waves and events of life and help us get back to our true happy loving free selves.

The Guild of Energists, my own beloved energy community, set up in 1998 by Silvia Hartmann, was inspired by Gary Craig’s EFT, aiming to help propagate this powerful method to help more people.

Meanwhile Gary continued, dedicated, to his own mission of Emotional Freedom.

It is staggering to think of the millions of people’s lives that have been touched as a consequence of Gary Craig’s dedicated work. A Legacy indeed.

Reflection might lead us to ponder on what legacy we ourselves might be creating and leaving to this world as we make our own footprints in this life.

Thank you Gary Craig from our deep hearts and God Bless your Great Soul.

May you rest in heavenly bliss as your legacy of EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, Energy Tapping and Energy Work inspired by EFT continues to create freedom and happiness in the world for many millions more you as you depart.

Our sympathies with your family for their great loss.

With deep thanks and respect.

Sandra Hillawi

Modern Energy Trainer

The Guild of Energists 25 Years

When emotional work starts to feel like too much

I’ve been sitting with something lately…

How many people who are committed to healing are actually exhausted.

Not because they’re doing it wrong.
But because they’ve been trying so hard for so long.

I see it in clients.
In practitioners.
In myself at times.

There comes a point where doing more emotional work doesn’t bring relief. It just adds another layer of effort. We feel tension and we just become tired. Even the most helpful tools can start to feel heavy.

Sometimes what’s needed isn’t another process or breakthrough.

It’s permission to slow down.

Allowance and Gentle Presence

To stop pushing emotions to move faster than the system can handle.
To listen instead of fixing.
To stay present without forcing anything to change.

This is where my own work has been returning again and again.

In EMO… Energy in Motion… we don’t treat emotion as something to ‘get rid of’. We meet it as it is. Gently. At the pace the body allows. When emotion is met this way, when its given allowance to be as it is with our gentle attention, it begins to move on its own. Not dramatically. Just honestly.

Practical Compassion

Compassion as we healers facilitate here isn’t a big spiritual concept. It’s very practical. It’s what allows us to stay with what’s real without shutting down ourselves or becoming overwhelmed. Its being able to be the presence of love as you witness another, with the desire and the capacity to help alleviate their suffering. Its capacity and ability to act.

Especially if you’re someone who supports others… being aware of how we meet our own emotional load matters more than any technique.

I’ll be sharing more about this over the coming weeks as I prepare for the EMO Energy In Motion Master training starting later this month.

Holding Emotional Space Without Depletion

For now I’m offering a live experiential session called Holding Emotional Space Without Depletion where you can simply feel what this approach is like, how emotional energy simply moves within us, with allowance and gentle loving attention and intention …. through the body and out… bringing about emotional healing and change.

The next one is Wednesday 14th January, UK 7.00 pm.

If it feels right you’re very welcome to join us.

No fee, no obligation, just experience.

Zoom Registration Link Reserve your place here.

With care,

Sandra Hillawi

A Moment to Pause

Hello,

I wanted to reach out quietly.

Over the past while, my work has been returning again and again to one simple question:

How do we stay human, resourced and kind – especially when life is demanding so much more than usual?

Much of what I’m seeing in clients and communities right now is exhaustion, emotional overload, and a deep need for steadiness, rather than more pushing and striving.

If you’re feeling that too you’re not alone.

I’m currently opening a small number of 1:1 sessions for people who want personal, grounded support a place to slow things down, listen to the body, and gently restore inner balance.

So much of life can pull us away from ourselves. At times we lose our sense of alignment or connection. It can be reassuring to remember that with gentle support and guidance we can find our way back – without having to struggle alone.

If that feels relevant, you’re welcome to get in touch to explore working together. My initial 45-minute consultation is always free and without obligation. You can reply to this email, book directly via my Calendly link, or reach out on WhatsApp — my number is below.

I’m also preparing a small number of group journeys beginning soon in January. The first focuses on Compassion – not as an abstract idea but as a practical capacity that helps us meet difficulty without collapsing or hardening. The second explores mastering energy and emotion for healing and transformation, for those who feel ready to go deeper. I’ll share more about these soon.

For now, I’m glad you’re here and I’m sending warmth your way.

With care,
Sandra

www.healingpainwithlove.com

sandrahillawi@gmail.com

Tel/Whatsapp: +44(0)7884443708 

Two Pathways Home – Which Do I Choose?

I wrote something today about two different ways people find their way back to themselves.

Two Pathways Back to My Self – Which Way Do I Choose?

As we grapple with the waves of life, our emotions show us how well we are handling it all.

When it’s a struggle, when we get blocked and stuck in our painful emotions there are two ways back

The direct way and the indirect way.

The Indirect Way

This is the way we are accustomed to. Lets see what happened that disconnected you from yourself, lets go to the places that hurt and lets heal them, with our loving attention, our masterful techniques to bring about healing and restore inner flow.

We tune in to the matrix of scar events and heal them, bringing the energy and compassionate attention needed to help bring about the movement from stuckness into flow.

That’s what we have all been doing for many years, still do and its still valid and powerful. The process however can be painful as we revisit, at least for a while, the painful past. You gotta feel it to heal it… as they say.

And then there’s another way …

The Direct Way

This is perhaps a newer way. Well, everything evolves.

Continue reading “Two Pathways Home – Which Do I Choose?”