Sandra Hillawi

Feeling out at sea in a rowing boat trying to find my way

I had this metaphor running for what my life was like , out at sea in a rowing boat, struggling in the sea of emotions of life. So I sat myself down to do a SuperMind journey to evolve that. This is how it went.

I’m in a rowing boat at sea. There’s a hole in it and I’m bailing it out and rowing, and bailing it out and rowing. And I’m not going anywhere because how can I? I can feel the seat beneath me and the oars in my hand, but I look behind me and see the water coming in. I get up to bail out the water. The hole is there, it’s not getting any smaller. I cry real tears as how can I manage this alone? Its impossible.

I ask ‘how can this change?’ as I know this sanctuary place I am in is magical.

Journey to The Star Matrix

A most beautiful 12 step journey completed this week culminating in six Star Matrix Masters.
Top row left to right 3 veteran Star Matrix Masters took another tour with us David Ingvoldstad USA, Irma Hudson USA and Dieter Maas Germany.
Second row left to right: three new graduates Emily Pearson UK, Ellen Epstein USA and Maria Perrone USA

For me personally, leading this course for the first time with my lovely group I have to say how much I thoroughly enjoyed it. We all experienced high energy recalling star memories, experiencing and sharing the light of that energy, and realising the meaning, the teaching and the significance of these energy rich events of our lives.

Our Star Events happen in a moment and life goes on, but inside those moments, when we unpack them, lies vast riches and treasures revealing wisdom, natural talents and the truth about our real nature, who we are. These are evolution moments and help us build our truth and authentic self concept. Becoming and consciously knowing who you are is the trip and having a great time doing it!

Suffering is Your Compassion Gift to the World Waiting to be Unwrapped

Why do we have to struggle? Why is life sometimes so difficult? Is suffering necessary? What about a world without suffering, is that even possible?

We have asked these questions throughout our life time and in lifetimes before us.

Last week after doing some energy healing work on myself I opened up a deep wound that I’d been shutting out for a long time. Disconnection is a coping mechanism we all use at times to distance ourselves from painful unresolved emotions, which themselves come from past unresolved experiences where we suffered.

So with my Pandora’s box now open and finding myself swimming in old emotions I was blessed to have coffee with a friend who is an energist colleague who was able to listen and hear me express the story of what happened.

I emptied myself over that meeting and she patiently with love listened in silence and complete attention with her beautiful open heart. She didn’t interrupt me or respond to anything until I had finished when I realised how much lighter I felt. I became aware of how valuable and precious it was to have a person like this to sit and listen, to witness my painful story with love, with compassion, without judgement, without interruption and how not everyone can do that. What a blessed and precious gift and phenomenon it is to have the compassion that allows that to be possible.

How do we grow a compassionate heart?

Losing my Harry and Meghan Addiction

I was having coffee with energist colleague Dieter this morning on zoom and I decided to explore one of my addictive patterns…. that being scrolling and watching Harry & Meghan videos on facebook. I had found myself somehow drawn in and when I was in a low energy state, scrolling online I found myself following the videos posted about the royal couple and the details of their life, falling for all the click-bait.

A great subject to explore with the curiosity of … can I lose my addiction?

My colleague Dieter guided me to tune in to the subject and throughout the session and we used TGST approach that we had previously written about (The Guiding Star Technique, originally discovered by Silvia Hartmann which we know how to use from our professional energy trainings).

The Power of Love for Healing

The Power of Love for Healing

I want to write and share a most amazing EMO healing session from this week.

The person, lets call her Susan, was extremely distraught at the impending passing of her Mother. She was in deep crisis about losing her Mum having been in a co-dependent relationship with her Mum (her words). Add to that a difficult marriage, difficult family relations and not having anyone else that she could be devoted to that was devoted to her, Susan was feeling in so much fear, pain, despair and panic. She felt like she was also going to die. She had pain in her chest, tight constriction in her throat, a heavy head and was really feeling terrible.

She came online with me and proceeded to unload all her fears worries anger and love. For about 20 minutes she unloaded all this anger fear and despair. There was nothing I could do but be present in love while she emptied out. She cried, she cursed, she professed her love, and anger at God. I sent her love in this space until she quietened down resigning to the desperation of the situation in tears.

Finally I could ask her, can you accept some help with your energy, to try to create some ease inside that you can function in this incredibly difficult time in your life. She accepted.