Since I’ve been doing The Compassion Experience with Sandra and practicing self compassion it’s made a monumental change in my relationship with myself and my partner. We are significantly more connected, happy, having more fun without the old barriers to intimacy.
It has also affected me in a physical way. A huge shift happened within and since a group healing session in the course my chronic long term pain is almost non-existent. I never thought in a million years that this would happen. I feel like I have come home to myself.
Handling Anger
When my partner gets angry I can now shift her out of it without getting embroiled in it. Instead I can radiate compassion and she picks up that I know and feel how she is feeling, and understand it because I have been there BUT I’m no longer there. So I empower her by my deep compassion which lets her find her own place beyond the anger for herself. Amazing.
As I’m coming into my masculinity more strongly I feel a deeper sense of my authentic self containment which allows me to hold other people in that space. So now she feels my steady masculinity.
Self Compassion to Meet My Own Needs
Before there was a knowing sense of lack. Where I’ve been meeting my own needs with self compassion, instead of looking to her, that’s given birth to levels of deeper ease instead of dis-ease in me. Totally profound!
Better still, as a result of her receiving my compassion which makes a shift in her, that returns to me in compassion from her also. We now connect authentically and have an open channel for intimacy.
As I have evolved she evolves. She can drop her guard to feel good about what she gives without fear of my neediness from my past vulnerability.
Four weeks ago feels like a past life. I can’t even relate to who I was back then, anchored in anger and pain, crying out for myself, needing to be understood by others.
Self compassion to give what I needed to myself is a real shift. It’s a game changer.
I always knew there was a place I could get to but I was in so much anger and pain. Now its all melted away with self compassion and I don’t feel scared anymore. She’s picking up on that too. I feel grounded. Our relationship is now so beautiful.
Compassion for My Partner is Healing
My partner has had her own past traumas. Due to me being able to hold her in compassion she’s been able to drop her guard. The facilitation I can do for my partner guided by my own inner process is directly linked to the practice of self compassion that I learned in The Compassion Experience with Sandra.
I can access and understand what’s going on in her inner world and can facilitate in such a way to help bring about transformations in her. She feels like ‘he gets me’. Because of the inner movement of compassion in me she can talk to me about her anger. I’m no longer defensive. I have capacity to handle it, understand and hold her in it. This is the beginning of her letting go of her own anger too.
I have waited years to reach here. I have yearned for this. There was always missing something. That something was myself.
I feel more than ever at home with myself. The yearning and sense of incompleteness has disappeared.
Thank you Sandra for The Compassion Experience, for teaching me how to do self compassion. I’m so grateful and excited to attend the classes each week. It is amazing and has changed my life.
Sandra Hillawi 