Where the light comes …
Today I set off by ferry and train from Gosport to Havant to see my lovely nephew. He met me at the train station and we went for a wander around Havant in the cold, though I was wrapped up in my heavy coat scarf and hat and my nephew had a few layers on with his usual shoulder bag strewn over his shoulder.
We went for a coffee and he bought us an amazing cake to share. Salted caramel chocolate cake. It was a divinely good choice, then we went for another walk about in the cold fresh air, stopped in St Faiths Church, said a prayer, sat by the Springs and then later meandered over to a bench to have a chat.
We both have trials in our lives. He shared his with me. A lived experience that is really so so hard. I felt him in my heart. He is incredibly strong to be able to bear it and still be here, coping somehow.
I shared some of mine with him. He leaned on my shoulder to comfort me and his reassuring words and understanding was so sweet and touching, warming my heart.
So there we were Aunt and Nephew, wrapped up to stay warm but out in the cold streets of Havant, sitting on a bench near the train station having a moment. A moment of love, connection, compassion. A moment of understanding, mutual encouragement and respect for each other’s courage, patience and strength.
Then he walked me to the train station and we hugged our goodbyes but then my train left the platform and I missed it. Then there was another moment of this awkwardness of the ‘premature goodbye’ and then still being there together. We noted it and both cracked up with laughter and hung around a few more minutes til the next hug then he left and I caught the next train back to Portsmouth Harbour.
So today my nephew, despite his incredibly difficult journey, was a source of many moments of light to me today. These are my star moments from today. Precious gems that give life meaning and make it worthwhile whatever else may be going on.
On the way home a dear client in the USA sent me the poem below on whatsapp, how beautiful and apt this gift. Another stunning star moment.
How The Light Comes
I cannot tell you
how the light comes.
What I know
is that it is more ancient
than imagining.
That it travels
across an astounding expanse
to reach us.
That it loves
searching out
what is hidden
what is lost
what is forgotten
or in peril
or in pain.
That it has a fondness
for the body
for finding its way
toward flesh
for tracing the edges
of form
for shining forth
through the eye,
the hand,
the heart.
I cannot tell you
how the light comes,
but that it does.
That it will.
That it works its way
into the deepest dark
that enfolds you,
though it may seem
long ages in coming
or arrive in a shape
you did not foresee.
And so
may we this day
turn ourselves toward it.
May we lift our faces
to let it find us.
May we bend our bodies
to follow the arc it makes.
May we open
and open more
and open still
to the blessed light
that comes.
by Jan Richardson
There are always precious moments, glimmers of light, star moments. Its good to pay attention, to notice and appreciate them. They can be so easily missed and yet these are our treasures. I will add these gems as entries in my Book of Stars.
Thank you my lovely nephew. Love you loads.
Aunty Sandy x
Sandra Hillawi 